


All Consuming

by broadwayiscooliguess



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: After The Chess Game, Canon Compliant, Multi, also, during the games i play/marvin hits trina, nothing actually happens tho, slight warning for abuse but nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 15:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11062236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadwayiscooliguess/pseuds/broadwayiscooliguess
Summary: Sometimes Whizzer is afraid of Marvin.





	All Consuming

Sometimes Whizzer is afraid of Marvin.

He's allowed to have anger. Afterall Whizzer did pull him away from his perfect little family across the city to an apartment that has no air conditioning. So Marvin can get angry at him and sometimes Whizzer enjoys this anger - the sex afterwards is mind blowing - but sometimes he doesn't.

He likes the warm anger. The anger in which he can see the sparks of love flicker in and out of Marvin's eyes. That's when he and Marvin are most passionate when they argue about Marvin's horrible taste in clothes which soon turns into an argument about how Whizzer hates monogamy (which is half true - when Marvin kicks him out for a night Whizzer usually finds himself in another man's bed) which soon turns into a race of _how fast can I get your clothes off._

He hates the cold anger. The hatred that every so often emanates from Marvin in a torrent of ice that spits from his mouth is uncommon but when it comes Whizzer feels so small and pathetic. Marvin's words dig at his skin until he's caught between breaths, floundering in air, gripping onto anything just to stop his tears from cascading down his face. That anger doesn't end in sex. It ends in Marvin taking a glass of scotch to bed leaving Whizzer the couch and a stony glare that reads _I hate you_.

There's an anger that Marvin has only ever shown twice. Once to Whizzer and now to Trina. Whizzer supposes that he's shown this anger before, back when he was suppressed and willing for a man, _any man,_ to take him in their loving arms.

This anger is overwhelming and left Whizzer on edge for days. It's the kind of anger that persuades Marvin to lash out and harm those who he never wanted to love, _never never never never._

This anger appeared in front of Jason. And Whizzer knows that although Jason may act as though he knows nothing, the kid could give him an analysis on every person he's met.

Marvin never hit him. Never could hit Whizzer even if he wanted to. He came close once a couple of months back when Jason stayed round after Trina and Mendel had gotten engaged.

It started off as an okay night. Marvin and Jason took turns to jokingly insult Mendel while Whizzer cooked dinner - a normal sight in the Feldman/Brown household. The three of them had eaten in moderate silence, giving sparing comments about baseball - _Jason should sign up, right Whizzer?_ \- and what Jason wanted to do when he grew up - _a chess player doesn't earn any money Jason._

The trouble had started when Whizzer made an off hand comment about their time together when Marvin had been with Trina. Soon it had escalated into a crescendo of shouting that let loose thoughts that stung and left Jason cowering in the spare room, hands over his ears, blocking out the noise that seemed familiar.

Marvin had raised his hand, the back of it too close to Whizzer's face. Whizzer braced for the impact, his mind frozen in disbelief as he stared at his lover. Betrayal, hurt, fear all washed over him, drowning him, leaving him floundering again in air that seemed depleting.

"Go on then, hit me. You know you want to, I can see it in your eyes," he had whispered. 

Marvin's eyes softened as he lowered his arm, immediately retreating back into himself. Whizzer knew he felt bad, that much was clear when Marvin attempted to reach out to him again but stopped himself.

Whizzer stood still while Marvin put on his shoes and walked out the door, his head hung low and blotches of pink decorating his cheeks.  The younger man pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, resting his head in his hands. His depressing thoughts were stilled by another chair and the clatter of a chess board.

"I'll let you win," Jason set up the game and taught Whizzer the technicalities of chess that Marvin had omitted to tell him - probably something to do with his pride.

That anger is the worst anger. The one where Whizzer is most terrified at how different, how _cruel_ Marvin can be.

After that the warm anger came back as did a fierce sex marathon that lasted for four days with intermittent food breaks and sleep. Whizzer marvelled at the bruises on his hips (he was glad they weren't on his face and came from love) - they were a reminder he belonged somewhere even if they weren't socially acceptable (but really, neither were Whizzer's sexual preferences).

Shocked was the only emotion he could describe when Marvin kicked him out, suitcase and all - there had never been a suitcase before. He thought Marvin was full of warm anger, not cold anger, he didn't want the stony glare of _I hate you_ , he wanted the passion of _how fast can I get your clothes off._ If he'd have known it was the cold anger, Whizzer wouldn't have pushed it, wouldn't have acted so childish and petty; at least he'd be on the couch and not traipsing the streets lost.

He found himself outside Trina and Mendel's place a few hours later. Not much had changed since Marvin was there; the same peonies sat in the window box and the grass was as neat as ever. The only things that had changed was the man of the house and Trina's devotion to him.

Marvin didn't notice Whizzer when he stormed inside, the older man seemingly couldn't see through blind rage that consumed him. Marvin went inside, and even from outside Whizzer could hear and feel the anger and tension that his lover - _ex-lover_ \- had demonstrated all those months ago.

Whizzer followed suit and went inside, only to see Mendel stood protectively in front of Trina and Marvin folding into himself. Jason stood to the side, his mouth agape, struggling to comprehend what had just happened- what _had_ just happened?

When Jason saw Whizzer he rushed over, crashing into his chest and holding onto him for dear life. Whizzer held him close. This kid had become one of the most precious things in Whizzer's life and, _damn it_ , he wasn't going to lose him even if he lost Marvin.

"I'm leaving your dad but we can still play chess every Wednesday if you like."

Sometimes Whizzer is afraid of Marvin. But now he doesn't have to be. Now he can be anything he chooses and if that's a dad to Jason then so be it.

_So be it._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> I have no idea where this came from I just wanted to write Falsettos and here I am. 
> 
> Follow me on Instagram: broadwayiscooliguess


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